One day I was walking along a quite small road towards my grandmother’s house in the countryside. All over the grass beside the road were flying insects and I could even see some rabbits. I was really enjoying my walk and I wasn’t in a big rush to get to my grandmother’s small farm.
Suddenly a stranger appeared in front of me as if from nowhere. He was about ten meters away and was waving his right hand to me. He spoke slowly to me, Hello my little girl. I am your new friend. I want to take you to some interesting places. Places that you have never visited before. Are you ready little girl?” “No, no, no you, you bad old man, I don’t know you at all. My parents have warned me against old men like you. They told me never to play with strangers, especially old men. Who would protect me if I was silly enough to go with you? Please leave me alone. I don’t want to play with you!” I was very, very scared so I screamed very loudly. Arrrr………!
“Don’t worry sweet dear young girl. I’m your best true friend you’ll see! I’m not a bad old man at all, plus I’m kind and gentle and also polite. Although you don’t know it you are the only person that can see or hear me he, he! If people come to help you then they will think you are mad as they won’t be able see or hear me. You must believe me! I will bring you lots of happiness.” I fell down onto the grass and cried my head off. No one had heard me or even if they had they hadn’t come to help me. I thought I was going to be kidnapped and kept as his slave in an old farm house or somewhere else that was horrible.
I thought to myself, what am I worried about, I’m young, he’s old. I stood up as he was now only two meters away. I charged at him kicking and swinging my fists. I thought that I’d kick and hit him as hard as I could then I would run as fast as I could to my grandmother’s home and then call the police for help.
Did I get a shock? Yes I did and a big one! When I kicked and hit him it was as if he wasn’t there. Yes I was kicking into air so to speak. I actually went right through him and landed on the ground behind him. I heard him laughing loudly and looked up and found that he was still there and of course still laughing. “What are you?” I demanded to know.
“I’m Chang – Sheng an immortal god that looks after ladies and gets rid of tax collectors. So you see I’m a good guy!” “You could have fooled me! I’m lucky I have a strong heart or I might have died from fright from you” I said. “How do I know that you are a god and not a ghost? I asked him. Well ghosts can’t perform magic but I can. So you see I’m who I say I am!
Well I thought I might as well see what I could get out of this deal. “First off if you start taking me on joy rides I’ll be missed and my parents will be worried and calling the police and all that kind of stuff right huh?” “Nope I can assure you that no one that you know will miss you.” He answered. “Then where are these great places that you are talking about? Are they in Yancheng? Oh, and how are we going to get there, bus huh?
“Oh shit, where are we this place is freezing and I can hardly breathe?” “Well we are at the top of Mount Everest in the Himalayan Mountains at 8,850 meters up from sea level.
At the moment it is only -36° C but it can drop as low as -60° C if you want to wait around. Now stop asking so many questions and tell me where you would like to go? “Um, how about a hotspot to start with!” “Wow you’re fast, man this is hot plus there is nothing here; what is this place a desert?” “Yep, it’s the Tanami desert in the Northern Australia, oh, and its 47 degrees in the shade at the moment.”
I could see that I’d have to tell him a few things. Our Chinese gods don’t seem too bright. “Look” I said. “I’m a rather modern girl you know, so I’d like to do some shopping, say in New York, Tokyo, Paris, and London plus see some famous sights like the Sydney Opera house, the Leaning Tower of Pissa in France etc.” “Oh, I see well perhaps we should start in New York as those American Tax men steal so much money off the public that I don’t mind getting some money back off them.” He replied to me.
Things were going great for me! He seemed to be able to supply me with unlimited spending money to shop. The only problem was having him there beside me; everyone would stop and stare at him and then me! I mean to say have you ever walked into a dress shop with a Chinese god dressed in robes with a big fat tummy, a shiny bald head along with a meter long grey beard. You probably haven’t but I can assure you that you will be the center of attention. Everyone goes ooh, arr and so on. So being ever so polite I said, “Gee, I wish you were a young modern Chinese god that looked something like how li Xueqing looked about ten or twelve years back. You should keep up with the times and stay fashionable you know.
Well you can imagine my surprise as within a second right inside a top dress shop with everyone staring at us Chang – Sheng changed himself to look the same as Li Xueqing China’s most highly paid male fashion model. I could see the jealousy in the other women’s faces. Now I didn’t mind all the attention and even Chang – Sheng seemed to be enjoying it also. Like all good things eventually he thought that he had better take me home. He had such a good time but with me that he now regularly comes to pick me up to go traveling.